It's a Friday night and I'm standing in the Wilshire room of the Sheraton Miramar in Santa Monica, registering for a workshop in Tantric sex. A friend I've known for twenty years, who urged me to do this and is taking the workshop for the second time, waves and walks across the room. As I pin on my nametag he says he has to go out of town in the morning. "I might be back Sunday. What I'll miss is the stuff about sacred-spot massage. You know, G spot?"
I look at him quizzically.
"Vaginal orgasm," he says.
"Oh, come on," I say. "Vaginal orgasms don't exist. We settled that twenty-five years ago."
He raises his eyebrows. "I've known women who…"
"So have I. I mean, I've spoken to hundreds. This is something I feel certain about."
He smiles and looks away. A bell rings and about ninety people, nervous, curious, take seats on the thick brown carpet.
My friend was not the first person who'd recommended this workshop, given by Charles and Caroline Muir of the Source School of Tantra in Maui, Hawaii. My sister, who lives in Hawaii, had taken the course in 1987. She'd been prodding and I'd been resisting for almost a decade, but in the past year I'd heard glowing reports from others, including the actors Jill Eikenberry and Michael Tucker, whom I knew to be sharp, discriminating, feet-on-the-ground people. "It transformed the way we thought about sex," Tucker told me. "It took us to states we'd never imagined, and I realized: This is what we're here for, to love like this." Tuck...