Gone South

In a last surprise, the young Marlins are champs.

  1. Baseball Commissioner Bud Selig, in a surprise news conference two days after the conclusion of the recent World Series, announced that Major League Baseball will undertake a radical change in scheduling next fall, when the Divisional and League Championship eliminations will come after the World Series, not before. “Tradition matters,” Selig said, “but the fans have made it clear that they much prefer the interest and drama of the earlier rounds of post-season play, and we’re going to oblige them. From now on, it’s the Fall Classic first and then heartbreak.” The commissioner confirmed reports that he had called in some top metaphysicians to tackle the contradictions implicit in such a plan. “They’re gung-ho for the plan, conceptwise,” Mr. Selig said. “Once we have this in hand, we’re looking to clear up the designated-hitter dilemma, as well. Ambiguity is tough, but so is Roger Clemens.”

    Well, maybe not, but after the vibrant and confounding baseball scenes in the weeks just past, no possibility can be wholly excluded. Look what did happen:

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    · In the ceremonials before the third game of the American League Divisional playoffs between the Red Sox and the Oakland Athletics, a Red Sox relief pitcher named Byung-Hyun Kim heard prolonged boos from his home-team Fenway Park fans when his name was announced, and responded digitally.

    · Another bird, the Yankee Stadium celebrity eagle Challenger, lost his way while performing his ceremonial flight from the center-field ...