Heaven Help Marge Schott

The Reds’ owner, long ago reduced to a life of loneliness, has further isolated herself by her spiteful words and witless deeds.

  1. Alone in her bedroom, alone in a 40-room mansion, alone on a 70-acre estate, Marge Schott finishes off a vodka-and-water (no lime, no lemon), stubs out another Carlton 120, takes to her two aching knees and prays to the Men. To Charlie, the husband who made her life and then ruined it. He taught her never to trust. To Daddy, the unsmiling father who turned her into his only son. He taught her never to be soft. To Dad Schott, the calculating father-in-law, whom she may have loved most of all. He taught her never to let herself be cheated.

    "I pray to them every night, honey," she says. "How many owners do that, huh? Hit their knees every night?"

    Hard to say. For that matter, how many baseball owners keep in their kitchen drawer plastic bags containing hair from a dog that died five years ago? Or are worth millions but haven't shopped for clothes in nine years? Schott just wears the stuff people send her. "If it fits, honey," she says in her No. 4 sandpaper voice. "I wear it."

    Honey is...

The complete text of “Heaven Help Marge Schott” is not in the Byliner library, but we love it so much we included an excerpt and a link to the full story on sportsillustrated.cnn.com.

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