Wigging Out

Would changing my hair change my life? After a lifetime of playing it safe at the salon, the author spins the color wheel—and discovers a spectrum of alter egos.

  1. The problem with my hair begins with my face. My face, I am sorry to report, clashes with any hairstyle other than a medium-length and nonlayered one, which is less a style than a state of nature. I discovered this a few years ago, when a makeup artist stepped back from my face midbronzing, squinched her eyes, and said, "You know, I thought you had a square face, but it’s actually sort of a pyramid." A pyramid? Yes, she said, a pyramid. She was right about my face—it’s widest at the jawline, like Luke Wilson’s—and I’ve never quite forgiven her for it.

    For a pyramid, hair options are limited. Bobs exacerbate the problem; bangs turn your face into a Rothko painting; curls = bigger pyramid. But humans are perverse; we tend to desire the very things that we absolutely cannot (or should not) have. In my case, this unattainable ideal is cool hair—the kind that inspires a second look. Cool hair is Jean Seberg in Breathless and Uma Thurman in Pulp Fiction; it’s Bernadette Peters and Gwen St...

The complete text of “Wigging Out” is not in the Byliner library, but we love it so much we included an excerpt and a link to the full story on www.elle.com.

Originally published in Elle, March 2013

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